Same As Last Time

Everyone is having a challenging Year of The Rat -- I can feel it, so no need to argue... but c'mon!!

The Year of The Rat symbolically is a harbinger for resolution, for tying up loose ends or untangling crossed wires, as it is the first of twelve zodiac signs. It is imperative that we align ourselves with the purpose of this present Rat so that we are in proper position to align with the promise of 2012, The Year of The Dragon.

I felt you all shiver in anticipation. I am happy, as it was the intention.

On that note, since I have left the employ of the Chicken Ranch and the persistance of The Gantzes, I have not performed any performance rituals with former clients.

Until last night. He was a good client that partied with me for two nights for four-figures. He is being deployed overseas this week. We hadn't seen each other for a year since his last RnR but he exceeded as a client when I would receive 3-line emails from him during his missions which would say, "Not a lot of time to write, but I wanted to let you know I am safe, the food sucks, and I am looking forward to going on break." Not a lot of time to write, but enough time to write my email address. I was genuinely saved from loathing my sex work/art when he would message. Don't get it confused, I am not saying I loathed my work; that's obviously ridiculous; but rather at those rare times when I am wondering "is it worth it?" I would receive his emails from overseas and realize I AM and HAVE made a world of difference.

But last night, I was hurt. He had asked for the same as last time and I was so willing and eager to oblige and participate that I had neglected to tell him, I want the same as last time too. He came with nothing for me. Nothing.

SCE is threatening to discontinue power to my home by Monday; i've turned all my credit cards into fixed term loans to save on interest and penelty charges and I'm spending more on groceries for my doggies than for me. I haven't had a Josh Blank do in six months and my nails are ratfucked -- as in the year of the rat.

Everyone is going through this crazy year -- but please people, do not assume that working girls have it easy. And never ever presume that you can ever have the same as last time especially if you are unwilling to provide the same as last time yourself. I am truly at a loss.

Desperate for what is just,
chyna pi