Thursday, December 4, 2008

Spoils Of Ritual Go To The Distant Present

I'm not going to be performing at today's Riverside Art Walk after all. I roll with the punches a lot better now than when I was a kid, so I'm not to sad about not performing today for the public.

I am ready. I am so ready.

Some of my troupe, however, is far from being able to help efficiently -- their help will cost (have cost) too much already. I am looking forward to January 7, for the first Riverside Art Walk of 2009 -- that shall be our debut at the fair.

I will have some workshops or demonstrations at The Pharoah's Den during the month of December. I love the vibe there and what the men of the den are creating. Get me a piece of that action fo sho. Creative collaborating -- you're there to push boundaries, stimulate a response and provoke insight... sure, it's a fucken turn on. I get hot working with other writers, musicians, graphic artists and directors. When I ride the bitch seat behind a track virtuoso, I wet for hours after I'm off the bike. I love the ways I am turned on by creative people. Fuck me already and take a picture. Even if it's only on the level of astral intentional thought patterned experiencing. I dig it, baby.

Last night's MMORPG was smooth in cool places and chunky in some awkward places. I shared the stage with my shamanic partner and he's been having a tough time this year -- even though we are finally together, we've both had to work so damn much and I think he's still holding to some belief that life owes him a break every now and then, that he's entitled to recess. I am all for it except the entitlement part, and that such a break in the Work is either inherent to or rewarded for the process. I'm creating at a fervor where breaks are for dufusses -- I'm here to rock it! I wudnt want to be doing anything else with my time, my investment, my love, my body, my nerves, my everything that The Real Work -- and the fact that I am both artistic with the process as well as effective, damn, fuck off with recess already, unless it's a working recess....

But shit happens, and it's not at all about what I can do -- but what I can accomplish with others, treating them well and aware of our intentions and will to follow through and commit.

I'm going to perform my MMORPGs on my own performing sacred shamanic masturbation rituals and I will begin to video and document my games for my Subscirbers on YouTube... so is the plan. I think it will help my shamanic partner to value what it is that I send to everyone before he can contribute that which will enhance the transmission. When we danced in ritual yesterday, I almost felt him acting jealous, even though my t-shirt read, "mi novio es no celeo" -- i could tell, any lucky bitch could

but it was hot -- i just wish he would have let go of his need to be macho and i could have blown more cocks. even in sacred space, i had felt my shamanic partner conscious of the energies i engaged in and beckoning me to return my attention to complete him... i felt a little monopolized. it feels good in a way, because i do realize how important i am to him. but it is also manipulating and needy, and a cover for some dis ease of the heart.

turns out, my shamanic partner had participated in our ritual with compromised integrity. unable to be completely clear with himself, his movements in the sacred space lacked that clarity, was clouded with shame and scanlessness. I gave my best performance as I know and pride in doing, but felt that the performance would have been more dynamic and far-reaching had I performed on my own, or with my shamanic partner bound by Tyvek tape, facing a corner, on MDMA.

Speaking off, during the 2nd and 3rd acts of the ritual, we sustained the sensation of being on E for half an hour or more -- completely on the way we swayed the energy and filtered the flow through various charges of Aka Dua and consciously provoked the musical strands of PYRAMYTH. It was hot and groovy.

The finale was especially sweet -- Solarco and I sent the energy in our sacred space out to all in gift-sized packets. We had plenty to send away so everyone received, no one was left out. It was a great end to the party. Please let me know if and when you receive something special over the next few days, particularly flavored with chyna pi.

I have a lot of great ideas for my public debut live performance. I don't need to rush the process. My success would be pointless if I were alone to acknowledge it. I do more with the works of others than with my own -- this is fact. And it's one I am very proud of. I will keep practicing and performing on my own, but I know my best art/Work has yet to manifest in me... and it is going to take an incredible leading supporting cast of horny talented psychedelic freaks with lateral vision and shamanic mask eyes.

No comments: